Self-Confidence & Self-Esteem

When we have high self-esteem, we respect our true selves. On the other hand, people with low self-esteem will often stop themselves from doing something or from expressing who they are because they fear that they will not be accepted and love for who they are.

First, let’s explore self-confidence and assess your self-confidence.


Self-confidence is about trusting your abilities and also trusting your own judgment and decisions. People with low self-confidence will judge themselves by their actions or what they are incapable of doing. When you experience low self-confidence, you will likely see the gaps in yourself.

Here are some questions that will help you assess your self-confidence (check all that applies to you).

❑ I do what is expected of me even when it doesn’t necessarily feel right.
❑ I often feel sad and discourage about my life.
❑ It’s hard for me to handle change.
❑ When something looks hard, I usually don’t even try it.
❑ I rarely set goals for myself.
❑ I rarely find solutions to my problems.

❑ When I receive feedback, I often feel hopeless.
❑ Obstacles are failures for me.
❑ I can’t list five of my qualities right now.
❑ I feel like I don’t have the abilities, resources, and skills to accomplish your goals.
❑ I rarely take a risk because that often means failure for me.

The more answers you’ve checked, the more you need to work on your self-confidence.

One of the easiest ways to work on self-confidence is to assess your level of comfort at accepting compliments from others and correct it. How do you react when someone gives you a compliment or positive feedback? Most people who struggle with that will show a lower level of self-confidence.

Correcting this is simple: learn to respond with “Thank You.” Stop making excuses or reasons for it, and simply say thank you. This will improve your relationship with others and, mostly, with yourself. If you can’t accept compliments from others, how can you expect to recognise your qualities? Start by showing a different behaviour in your external world and the inner world will positively change.

Another way to build self-confidence is to strengthen your self-esteem, which is more the way you perceive yourself. Improve your perception of yourself, and you are less likely to see the gaps in your behaviours.


Self-esteem is the way we perceive or evaluate our worth and is the ultimate belief we place on ourselves. People with high self-esteem tend to be more comfortable with their true selves and demonstrate a lot more

When we have high self-esteem, we respect our true selves. On the other hand, people with low self-esteem will often stop themselves from doing something or from expressing who they are because they fear that they will not be accepted and love for who they are.

Our fear of being judged often lead us to behave in a way that is not aligned with what our heart wants because we want to feel accepted and loved by others. To get over this fear, you have to let go of the need for approval from others slowly. You can do so by taking the time to accept yourself first, and then you can express who you are without feeling like others will judge you.

Let’s evaluate your level of self-esteem; check all that applies to you.

❑ I am comfortable and happy to be myself
❑ I recognize my qualities and skills
❑ I have a lot of respect for who I am
❑ I can be as valuable as any other person
❑ I enjoy being myself, as opposed to a persona to please others
❑ Failure is not something I see in myself; Instead, I see failures as opportunities for growth
❑ I feel that I am worthwhile
❑ I can look at myself in the mirror and feel comfortable and loving toward myself
❑ I don’t expect everyone to like me and that is OK, I don’t feel the need
to change for them
❑ I’m always open for growth and yet, love and accept myself as I am

❑ I can be my biggest fan

The more answers you’ve checked, the higher your self-esteem.

To develop your self-esteem, you can work on the following.

Appreciate Yourself

Appreciating yourself means that you are OK with who you are and enjoy being by yourself. Have the goal of becoming your best friend. Take some time to hang out with yourself once in a while. It will help you build a level of comfort in being by yourself. Add some self-care during those moments; it will help you increase self-respect.

Be Proud of Your Accomplishments

We’ve all accomplished something in our life. It could be as simple as completing your elementary school or getting that job you applied for. Whatever it is, take the time to list the things you’ve accomplished in your
life, even if it is as simple as making your bed!

Recognise Your Skills

Every one of us is good at something. If it’s hard for you to identify those skills, ask someone around you to help list a few abilities that you have. It can be hard skills like carpentry, drawing, or cooking. It could also be a soft skill like listening, compassion, or empathy.

Learn to Love Your Body
Learning to love our bodies is probably one of the most significant accomplishments we can make in our life. Some studies show that 40% of men and over 90% of women are unhappy with their bodies. That is almost unreal! Loving your body is about self-talk but also about self-respect. Be your best friend and treat your body the same way you would treat your child or best friend. Be kind, compassionate, and supportive.

Compassion toward ourselves will often lead to better self-esteem and higher self-confidence. There is also an aspect of connecting with the self that becomes important.

“One can only hope the person you love will make you the best version of yourself.”
- Mia Maestro

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Kerry Hearsey
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